ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
