Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
