just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
