Whod you bang
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
