The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
