How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
