So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
