I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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