I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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