My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
