I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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