True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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