Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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