If i come over, it means nothing
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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