You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
