Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
