There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize