nut hugger
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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