worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
