I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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