shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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