i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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