So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
