i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
