Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
