OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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