i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
