no, he came in my armpit
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
