why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
