Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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