areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
