I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
nutella sex= disaster
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
