I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
