apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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