Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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