I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
