ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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