Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Im part way to drunk.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
