that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
