your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
