there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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