I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
