Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Randomize
