My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
