Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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