And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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