Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
