Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
