it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
