you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
