we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
